Friday blues....

So today is Friday, and here I am without any concrete weekend plans. It's tough to be a 30-something single female whose closest friends are, for the most part, married and/or living abroad. Generally speaking, my evenings and weekends are filled with nothingness and inactivity. I'd actually thought that this weekend would be different because there's a certain guy who has kinda been hovering around my atmosphere and showing what seemed like more than a passing interest in me. We hung out last weekend and had a blast (or so I thought!) so a few days ago, I decided to take the bull by the horns and do something I rarely ever do - I decided to ask him out. As I said, this for me, is the path less taken. I dont have the "liver" to be that direct with guys - I just cant take the risk of rejection. But this time I thought, "what the heck?!" In any case, it was what I would call a calculated risk, in the sense that from everything I could see, the guy was clearly interested in me. So why would he turn me down? But what do you know - his response came back: a resounding NO! Or more accurately, an unambiguous, "I'm busy this weekend" with no suggestion of an alternative date or arrangement. Rejection doesnt come any plainer than this. And it hurt. Like a motherf....r. I had taken the road less traveled and ended up in a ditch for all my efforts. His rejection was even more painful because he gave no explanations and offered no platitudes. It was as though he didnt even think I was worth the effort it would require to be diplomatic. Shaquille O' Neal stomping on my chest couldnt have hurt more. Wow. For the first time in years, I cried myself to sleep.

But I woke up the next morning, determined to put the entire episode (and him) behind me. As is characteristic of my personality, I decided to just get it together and move on. I will not be taking stupid risks like that again but life must continue. So here I am, on Friday with nothing to do. Life has to get better than this. It just has to!