In a melancholy mood...

I can't believe Heath Ledger is dead... Actually, I dont really understand why I'm so affected by his death because he wasnt one of those actors who was permanently on my radar. But I thought he was really cute and I was consistently impressed by the roles he chose - he seemed to be one of the rare actors who was motivated more by his craft than by fame or celebrity. I think the real reason I am so pained is because he clearly had so much potential and now the world will never know just how far this young man could have gone. What a tragedy...

Truthfully, I am in a rather melancholy mood today, and it's not just to do with Ledger's untimely passing. I was already in a sort of funk before I heard about his death so the news just intensified my blues. I'm not really sad though, just sort of... well, "melancholy" is the word that seems most apt. I was talking with one of my closest friends this morning. This friend of mine got married a few years ago and has what appears to be a really good marriage. Actually, let me rephrase that: I think by most standards, she does have quite a good marriage. But this morning, she was quite upset because as she put it, her emotional needs are not being met by her husband. I dont want to get into too much detail but the point is that she feels trapped and has no idea how to get her husband to understand how badly his aloofness is affecting her well-being. Now I'm usually good at counseling people but this time, I just couldnt think of a single comforting thing to say to my friend. I know her husband and I know that he is not the "lovey-dovey" type. Never has been, to the best of my knowledge. I also know the efforts she has made in the time they've been married to get him to appreciate her needs in this area. From all she's told me, he just doesnt seem to get it. So what to do now? As I said to her, there is no exit strategy so she just has to keep trying to communicate with him.

But all of this just got me thinking about life and how it just seems to be a series of battles from the day we are born to the day we breathe our last. You struggle to stay alive, struggle to grow up, go to school, get good grades, graduate, get a good job, etc. All the while, you have social struggles as well - in school you struggle for acceptance among your peers, at work you struggle for commendation from your bosses and colleagues. At home, you struggle for validation from your parents and family. Struggle to get married, struggle to stay married. Struggle to have kids and struggle to ensure those kids thrive. Struggle, struggle, struggle. Now I'm not saying that this is all there is to life. Of course, there are a lot of times when you're just coasting and everything seems to be all good. Still, life is hard and there's no getting around that fact. Which leads me to conclude that there's got to be more to this life than we can see. Because if after all this struggling nothing remains but nothingness, then the human condition is far more pitiable than that of the cockroach...